Here I sit on the rocks of my favorite beach. The one place that brought solace so many times I felt lost, confused or disrupted by peace.
I stare at the white foamed waves overlapping each other and think of the beauty of being a pebble amongst the sand.
All the struggles I face and challenges I encounter are only one of these pebbles, yet I’m surrounded by luminescent stones that represent so much more.
I think of the quote I heard the other day, “this soon shall pass.”
I recognize all moments of emotions may come in waves, but as they pull back into the ocean a new wave arrives greeting the sand with a new smile. The water kisses each pebble as it navigates its way across the ocean floor.
I didn’t cry today, I didn’t yearn his touch, I accepted what is and focused on what I could do to make myself happy.
Even though I am having to focus on my own happiness first, it’s like an after thought - but what about him?
It’s okay.
I’ll be okay.
This too shall pass.
I faced each challenge this past year has brought me and survived, if anything I have learned to embrace the uncertainty.
I do not expect him to come running back into my arms nor do I want him too. I want myself to forgive and find peace, heal and work within on who I am and the disrespect I allowed while blinded by love.
This is my time to be selfish, my time to focus on what I want and what best serves me. I will no longer choose to beg for breadcrumbs of a man that could barely provide the bare minimum.
I choose to focus on myself, lift myself up, grow my business, enrich my emotional intellect, laugh more, pursue more degrees and embrace the uncertainty life has to offer as I know I will navigate it like I have done so in my past.
I am not afraid, there’s no need to be uncertain as my luck has always found a way to guide me through anything.
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