This particular year, is the first of it's own and one for the books.
Ethan and I started off the Fourth of July laughing in his car, surrounded by an empty parking lot. We shared stories, mentioned embarrassing moments and allowed time to pass us by like it usually does.
As the evening soon began to turn into the wee hours of the morning, and it was time to go home; we collected our glass Coca Cola bottles and turned on the car. Unfortunately, we left the car battery on for too long without the gas, so the ignition wouldn't start the vehicle.
Here we were inside his convertible with the windows down at 2 am at a parking lot by our work, stranded.
My car was several feet away, so we relocated to my car and I was now given the task to drive us to his house to drop him off.
There was a spark in his eyes as he glanced back at me, almost as the light above, and the stars in the evening sky.
Who would've known Ethan would come into my life and be the one to remind me what it felt like to laugh with a man by my side. The feeling of being safe, secure, protected.
Before him I had felt the terrifying fear of silent closure. There was no way to take back all the time and emotions invested in the person I would've willing lost myself.
But, that was all before him.
Ethan.
Our daylight explorations soon became late night escapes into wherever our young minds led us.
I can't continue to feel these emotions for a man who would want less than I'm willing to settle for. He made me feel like I could be enough, and i was enough for the two of us.
Clinging onto my aching chest is him, so I press his Old Spice scent against me and bury my mind in the sea of emotions. There's no way to forget the way we laughed our way through the night and laid in comfortable silence by one another.
On our way to his house, we decided to go to the beach and let the sun be our first firework for our Fourth of July.
Upon arriving, we opened the sun roof, reclined the seats, and enter twined our hands. We placed our palms against each other and dozed off into a slumber. As we fell asleep, our hands curled around one another and we let the sound of the ocean be our background music.
The ringing of our alarm went off at 5:40 a.m, where we laid side by side and watched the glimmering sun rise into the illuminescent sky.
Is it just me who feels this electric charge between us two, I ask myself. It can't just be I.
During Fall, I allowed my heart to bleed the red and brown hue of Autumn's colors. Once January rolled around, I had to learn how to find myself and who I was once was. Now as summer approaches, it's like the songs that held constant repeat on my playlists, lowered in volume and had less resonance.
The only emotions I have now are confusion on whether we're meant to be, if it's worth the risk, or even just a summer crush.
There was a spark in his eyes as he glanced back at me, almost as the light above, and the stars in the evening sky.
Who would've known Ethan would come into my life and be the one to remind me what it felt like to laugh with a man by my side. The feeling of being safe, secure, protected.
Before him I had felt the terrifying fear of silent closure. There was no way to take back all the time and emotions invested in the person I would've willing lost myself.
But, that was all before him.
Ethan.
Our daylight explorations soon became late night escapes into wherever our young minds led us.
I can't continue to feel these emotions for a man who would want less than I'm willing to settle for. He made me feel like I could be enough, and i was enough for the two of us.
Clinging onto my aching chest is him, so I press his Old Spice scent against me and bury my mind in the sea of emotions. There's no way to forget the way we laughed our way through the night and laid in comfortable silence by one another.
On our way to his house, we decided to go to the beach and let the sun be our first firework for our Fourth of July.
Upon arriving, we opened the sun roof, reclined the seats, and enter twined our hands. We placed our palms against each other and dozed off into a slumber. As we fell asleep, our hands curled around one another and we let the sound of the ocean be our background music.
The ringing of our alarm went off at 5:40 a.m, where we laid side by side and watched the glimmering sun rise into the illuminescent sky.
Is it just me who feels this electric charge between us two, I ask myself. It can't just be I.
During Fall, I allowed my heart to bleed the red and brown hue of Autumn's colors. Once January rolled around, I had to learn how to find myself and who I was once was. Now as summer approaches, it's like the songs that held constant repeat on my playlists, lowered in volume and had less resonance.
The only emotions I have now are confusion on whether we're meant to be, if it's worth the risk, or even just a summer crush.
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