I hate him, loathing him is much easier than feeling this betrayal.
When I saw him, it was like the wind was knocked out of my chest and I couldn’t breathe. Tears filled my eyes and it’s like I was no longer gazing at the stars under the sky.
Now we were strangers, now he wanted nothing to do me, and now that meant it was time for me to start over and leave behind a past with someone I so desperately fought to build a future with.
The one person who was my go to, my left hand when I wrote with my right was no longer there. Learning to walk again on my two feet has never felt so daunting without him but my side.
All my favorite places have his touch, his presence isn’t there yet it lingers in my mind just like his soul against mine on late nights and say escapes.
It’s a whirlwind of events all going on at once, and I can’t take it anymore.
So I lay awake in bed rereading his words that broke my heart to see if they made any difference than the night before. I scroll through my photo album and see photos of our time together, him, us, and it burns into my chest as I remember the happiness I once felt
To the emptiness I feel now.
I rely on blue ocean waters and this notebook and pen to allow me to escape his face I’ll see soon. It’s like reliving a nightmare every time I see him.
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