Break ups.
How do people do this, I ask myself? Never once did I ever want to go through this pain again, but it’s like it gets worse each time.
I gave myself wholly to someone who loved in parts. I felt this joy in me when his smile lit up, his warmth filled a room, just like my favorite sound was his chuckle that made me want to just gaze at him and wonder how we found one another.
No matter the issue, disagreement or differences we always found our way back to one another; yet this time we’re two worlds apart.
Strangers.
It’s so peculiar since we know one another’s schedules inside and out, all these small details about one another, but being face to face, there’s this distance between us.
I fell for someone who only chose me when it was beneficial and convenient for them, cared for me in parts, when I’d take him whole on his grumpy mornings, cartoon filled movie nights, warm blankets on heated summer nights. I wanted to believe we belonged to one another. But just like a ticking time bomb, the truth was there all along and I just chose to avoid the abusive relationship, the manipulative behavior and control he had over my emotions and my body.
I kept believing it was worth it because I was clinging to those few good times, but they weren’t enough to last a lifetime.
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