In a year of growth and pain, you have been a bright light.
While reminiscing on the challenges and low points I’ve faced this year, being with you have been some of the highlights of my memories.
Singing along with you, and getting lost in your hazel eyes.
You have reminded me what it feels like to feel again. Warmth from the sun on a beach day, reminded of what it feels like to fall for someone’s smile, laugh, and soft chuckles - you reminded me what it feels like to feel again.
I still remember looking over to my left and seeing the sparkle in your eyes, the sparkle I could get lost in for another hundred blinks.
Falling, is this what it is? Falling for the man I knew less than one month in.
The first time he held my hand, I was scared. Slight electric tingles ignited by touch, afraid of the possibility, lost in the possibility, enamored in who he was as I gazed into his eyes.
I wish now I could go back to all those moments and kiss his soft cranberry lips and say “I missed you” while enveloped in his embrace.
What I would do to blink and recreate all the moments we would’ve shared together, instead of so far apart because I was afraid.
Afraid of the what if, afraid of letting go of my walls, afraid of the potential hurt, so much so I guarded myself with walls so high no one could enter, not even myself.
It took losing everything, losing myself to gain who I was again.
As I picked myself off the ground from the blows of obstacles this year has faced, I saw his kindness, his gentleness, his warmth and his soft smile that reminded me that I too was special.
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