Gray Bubbles

It's another summer day, here I am burned from the sun, but the only thing burning are my emotions for you.

While going about my day, I can't help but allow my thoughts to drift off to you, to us; and this smile glistens across my face when I see your name light up on my phone, accompanied by the popcorn ringtone that only you have.

Those gray text bubbles can only last for so long.

So long until I'm dying to see you, be with you, and feel your strong hands embrace me.

I hold my words back, because I'm afraid to tell the truth. I'm afraid to share how I feel in fear of losing you and what we have, so I settle for what I think I deserve, because you've made it clear there's no future for us.

When you both want different things, and are still figuring things out, it's hard to make things work when it's only you who wants more.

Here I am, silenced by gray bubbles and a man who makes me feel so used, selectively. Wanting more has never come at such a cost of this dull ache in my chest, and empty promises I still fall for each time.

Because saying I miss you isn't enough, because maybe I wasn't enough.