All the unspoken words that I didn't get to say, I don't beat myself up about them anymore. Because I shared how I felt, I expressed my care for you through lingering side glances and gentle kisses on your lips. Every morning you were my first thought as I reminisced over my dreams, and when you left, you were my recurring sunrise train of emotions that left tears in my heart.
Gentle and sweet, patient and kind, unknowingly and blindsided, it felt like the blow of a thousand winds striking my chest. Was this your plan all along? Was I just a pawn in your game of life?
I'm left confused by your unaligned words and actions, contradictory to your expressed emotions compared to what you actually did. Someone I loved innocently, and trusted blindly because I thought I was safe, I didn't have to worry about experiencing betrayal again like before.
Maybe I'll get to fall in love this time? Someone will actually love me, for me?
It was never about me, it was only about what my body had to offer and the chase until I let those lingering kisses deepen and lead to more.
I close my eyes and remember those soft caresses as I held your face between my palms and got lost in those hazel eyes and sweet smile. I close my eyes and am haunted by the crinkle in your eyes when the corners of your lips turn into a smile, the sound of your laugh, and the touch of your fingertips on mine.
I'm haunted by your memory, what once was a dream is now a recurring nightmare of heartbreak.
