There is no way to express the numbness that fills this space in my chest. The night you broke my heart, I returned home and fell asleep in the pajamas you let me borrow one night of the many endless nights together.
As I hugged your oversized shirt, I wanted to hope that you wanted what I wanted too, for us two to be together despite everything going on. It's like no matter what we went through in our own lives, we always found our way towards each other, and fought off our struggles together.
The last time I laid by you, I woke up and turned over to see your outstretched arm in my direction; it's like you were reaching out, when we felt so far apart.
I've wanted you, and only you for so long and it's time to let all those memories, the laughs, the adventures, late nights and early mornings go.
This sucks because it's not just losing someone I felt so connected with, but my best friend.
I remember waking up to your messages and falling asleep with the sound of your voice against my ear, but instead all we have is this silence from you pushing me away.
And last night, I wanted to just forget all of this and go back to what we used to be, but there's no turning back.
Your cold words struck me like a slap across the face, how easily disposable I was to you after everything. How did it turn into this war zone? Literally just a few days before your hands were on my skin pulling me closer, and we were laying side by side singing silly songs and playing video games. It's like everything was fine, until it wasn't.
I know I'm better without you, but the only thing I want is you, even if I know you're not right for me.
